Startin' With Me
by BrokenAngel1753
Summary: ONE SHOT SONG FIC Dean sits alone in a hotel room when a song comes on the radio that seems to hit close to home.


**STARTIN' WITH ME**

**PG 13**

**BY:** BrokenAngel1753

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**DISCLAMERS:** If I owned Supernatural…if I owned Jensen and Jared you would NEVER hear from the three of us again…catch my drift?

**SUMMARY:** Dean is alone in a hotel room when he hears a song on the radio; instead of changing the station he listens. While listens he realizes it hits close to home.

**Author's Note: **This is a ONE SHOT song fic

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Dean was sitting alone in the hotel room again. It had been another long day. Since his return from hell things were different. Sam wasn't around much he was off doing his own thing, hunting on his own, even spending more time with that demon bitch Ruby. Out of sheer boredom he turned the radio on. Jake Owen's song Startin' With Me began to play in the background.

Dean considered changing it to a rock station but stopped when he realized it was hitting close to home.

_I had a one night stand with my best friend's baby sister  
And to this day he still won't speak to me_

He remembered his old friend Jason West from when he was 17. He ended up having a one night stand with his little sister; Emily. To this day Jason refused to talk to Dean. And Emily hated him as well. She never talked to him after that night when she found out she was nothing more than a one night stand. If only he could apologize for that one.

_I pawned my grandpa's old guitar in collage  
For a case of beer and a tank of gasoline_

He ended up pawning an old guitar that belonged to his dad's father shortly after Sam left for college. Now that he thought about it he probably shouldn't of done that. He remembered his dad yelling at him for being so irresponsible and saying he shouldn't of sold that guitar. But at the time he didn't even care.

_I took a swing at my old man one Christmas  
I never dreamed that it would be his last_

Dean took a deep breath at that one. He did take a swing at his dad at Christmas. The only time he ever did and it was for some stupid reason. To be honest Dean didn't even remember what he swung at him for. But a few months later he sold his soul to let him live. Dean couldn't believe his father would do that even after what he did.

_I wish mom had rung my neck  
When she caught me with those cigarettes  
Which reminds me, I'm down to my last pack_

Dean thought about his mom. Maybe it wasn't his mom who found him smoking but he did get caught. Bobby found him smoking a few weeks ago. He didn't even know why he started or why maybe it was because of the stress he didn't even care at this point. But it was something he normally did when Sam was gone. And as if on cue he lit up a cigarette with a sigh. He hated the fact he was a smoker now. He wished he could quit but it wasn't easy.

_If I had a dime  
For half the things I did  
That didn't make no sense at all  
I'd be living a little higher on the hog  
If only I'd have known  
That later on down the road  
I'd look back and not like what I see  
I'd have changed a lot of things  
Startin' with me_

God there were plenty of things Dean wanted to change about himself. And come to think of it if he did have a dime for half the things he could probably upgrade this damn hotel room. He gave a weak laugh as the cigarette balanced gracefully on his lips glaring at the crack in the ceiling. Yeah he could go for an upgrade for once in his life. He deserved it didn't he? He saved lives but the only thanks he got was a night in jail because of fucking Shape shifters.

_I called my brother everything I could think of  
The night he wouldn't bail me out of jail_

There was that one time Sam actually refused to get Dean out of jail, it was shortly after he left for college. Dean had gotten into a bar fight and didn't want to call his dad. So he called Sam who told him to deal with it for once. He was furious this was one more to the list of why Sam should get smacked upside the head; right under leaving the family to go to school.

_I lost a job most folks 'round here would die for  
By laying out all night and raising hell_

He remembered having a job at a auto mechanic shop when he was 17 the one time he lived a normal life or did something normal. John took off hunting for a summer and Dean got a job. When summer was over he started up again. Dean could've kept his job but instead he decided to hunt with his dad and raise hell. Charming the girls and breaking rules; being a typical teenager. He was fired from his job but he didn't even care.

_And I let a woman that I love slip through my fingers  
Chalk another dumb move up to my foolish pride_

He thought about that one. He actually let _two_ girls get away from him Cassie and Jo. Normally he wouldn't think about Jo but he realized he had a chance with her but blew it when he left before anything happened. And Cassie…god with Cassie he chose hunting over her. How could he do that? If only she could've met him half way…but then again he understood.

_I wasn't there standin' by the bed  
When the preacher bowed his head  
With the family, the day my grandma died_

He remembered when his dad's mom died. Sam had kept calling trying to get a hold of him but Dean kept ignoring his calls. Even though his grandma was asking to see him one last time.

_If I had a dime  
For half the things I did  
That didn't make no sense at all  
I'd be living a little higher on the hog_

He took another drag on his cigarette before putting it out. Time for that damn gum, the one to help him quit. Taking out a piece of the minty gum he began to chew it as if his life depended on it. Strangely in a way it kind of did.

_If only I'd have known  
That later on down the road  
I'd look back and not like what I see  
I'd have changed a lot of things  
Startin' with me_

If he had known what he did then, maybe he would've never gone to hell. Maybe his dad would still be alive. Sam would still be there instead of being a rouge hunter with that bitch Ruby. He might not of been able to save his mom but maybe he could've saved others. So many others could've been saved.

_If only I'd have known  
That later on down the road  
I'd look back and not like what I see  
Whoa, I'd have changed a lot of things  
Startin' with me  
Startin' with me_

Just as the last line of the song ended Sam walked in tossing his jacket on the chair and collapsing into the bed next to Dean. Not even a word was spoken like always. It was times like these that annoyed Dean the most.

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**I hope you liked it. I was listening to my music and when this song played I thought of Dean. Leave me a nice review they are my drug. **


End file.
